


Something To Believe In

by Kuraagins



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Theatre, Deaf West Spring Awakening - Freeform, M/M, Newsies - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-05 22:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14628177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kuraagins/pseuds/Kuraagins
Summary: Hanschen does not do school productions. Until, of course, Melchior somehow convinces Director Knochenbruch to do his favourite musical - Newsies - and he meets the cute deaf boy who helps out backstage.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off a fic that I wrote when I was like 13 so take that how you will lmao. Text in bold is signed

It’s that time of year again. The time of year where they start the annual school production. The school production that Hanschen will no way in hell be a part of. 

“Come on Hanschen,” Melchior coaxes smugly, “Just consider it?” 

“No.” He states bluntly. “Not a chance in hell.”

School productions were for two types of people: the annoying, loud theatre kids and the kids who were smart enough to realise that rehearsals would get them out of classes. Hanschen didn’t fit into either of those categories and he didn’t intend on being mistaken for either of those types of people by outside eyes. No, Hanschen was quite content to sit on the side lines and not attract any attention to himself thank you very much. 

Melchior smirks. “Not even if I told you that they’re doing Newsies?” 

Hanschen stops, slowing turning to look Melchior in the eye. Gabor knows damn well he adores that musical. After being dragged to go and watch it for Melitta’s 14th birthday Hanschen had secretly fallen in love with the show and had (only partly) joked to Melchior that the only way he’d ever take part in a school show is that if it was Newsies. “You absolute son of a bitch Gabor! You did this, didn’t you?”

“You love that show, don’t you Hansi?” He taunts.

He scowls, adding this onto his list of reasons why he hates Melchior Gabor.

“I went to Director Knochenbruch last term and asked him if we could do it. He considered it for a while, but he said yes!” Melchior gloats.

Hanschen sighs, knowing Melchior will literally drag him to auditions if he doesn’t say he’ll do it. 

“Come to the auditions, at least,” Melchior propositions, “I’ll never bother you about shows again if you do,”

Even knowing that this was a load of bullshit, Hanschen caved. “When?”

“What?” Melchior asked, scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion. 

“When are the auditions asshole?” He snaps, embarrassed to even ask.

“Such language, Hanschen!” Melchior mocks, before following up with: “They’re on Wednesday.” 

“Today is Monday. There’s no way I’ll be prepared enough for Wednesday.” He complains. 

“Shut up, you’ll be fine,” Melchior sighs, “Please just come?” 

“I already said I would,” Hanschen rolls his eyes, before narrowing his eyes and teasing, “I wonder if Moritz Stiefel will be there?” 

Melchior and Moritz have known each other since they were each six years old, and Melchior has a massive crush him. No one really knows much about Moritz since he’s deaf and people don’t care enough to learn to sign just to talk to him, apart from the fact that he has a best friend who’s also deaf. Everyone can clearly tell that Moritz likes Melchior too. 

Everyone apart from Melchior, of course, who immediately blushes at Hanschen’s comment and hisses, “How should I know?” 

“Maybe because you’re totally in love with him and note down his every movement?” Hanschen laughs, earning him a sharp elbow to the ribs.

\----------

Hanschen groans as he enters the theatre on Wednesday, wondering what on earth he’s doing there. Taking a seat where numerous other people are sitting, he scans the room to see who else is here. Otto Lammamier and Georg Zirschnitz, who are two of those people who took part to get out of class; Martha Bessel, a shy girl who he’s never really talked to before; Ilse Neumann, who is sat with his younger sisters, and Hanschen cringes because of course they have to be there. Moritz Stiefel and his best friend are sat with Wendla Bergmann and a girl he thinks is called Anna. He recognises a couple of other people from past shows he’s come to watch, but he’s never talked to any of them.  
Suddenly he hears a boy speak loudly, “Hanschen! I can’t believe you’re here, I didn’t know you were into theatre!” He turns around and see none other than Bobby Maler. Of course his fucking ex-boyfriend had to be a theatre kid. He used to go to private school and - presumably- got kicked out and came here, Hanschen never got the full story from him to spread after they broke up. He’s probably one of the most popular boys in school, who finds it extremely funny to flirt and chat with Hanschen knowing how uncomfortable it makes him after Bobby cheated on him. Instead of kicking up a fuss in front of everyone and drawing attention to himself, Hanschen resolves to ignore him, after throwing a sarcastic smile his way and stalking off to go and sit with his sisters. As he sat, he turned and saw Bobby’s irritated face, taking pride in the fact that he didn’t give him the reaction he wanted. A few more people arrive as Melitta literally squeals and throws her arms around her brother. _ **“I knew you’d come Hansi, I just knew it! As soon as I found we were doing Newsies I thought to myself ‘I know Hanschen will do it this year’ and you actually came!”**_

 _ **“Don’t forget to sign, Mellita,”**_ Hanschen jokes and raises an eyebrow at her sloppy signing that he was sure Thea could hardly follow. 

_**“I’m sorry but I’m just so happy that you’re here,”**_ She grins, signing significantly more clearly this time.

They wait a few more minutes and the teachers enter the room. Director Knochenbruch; Co-Director Knuppeldick; Fraulein Grossenbustenhalter (the pianist); head of tech, Herr Sonnenstich; and Frau Gabor, Melchior’s mother who teaches at the school and volunteers to head the (predominantly deaf) backstage crew. 

“Good Afternoon everyone,” Knochenbruch booms, “I am Director Knochenbruch and welcome to auditions. Now, this year we are doing a performance of Newsies. Does anyone not know what the show is about?” 

Quite a few people raise their hand, including Bobby. 

“Great. In a nutshell, the musical follows the story of Newsboys Strike of 1899. After newspaper owner Joseph Pulitzer raises the prices to buy his papers to sell, newsboys Jack and Davey form a union and strike, with the help of female reporter Katherine Plumber. Any questions?” Knochenbruch looks out at the blank faces across the auditorium, “No? Perfect. I’ll get you all out of lessons tomorrow so you can watch the original play, just so you can see what we’re doing. Now, onto how the auditions are going to work, those of you who wish to join backstage crew can go and see Frau Gabor over there now,” Thea, Moritz and a few others got up, “The rest of you will be in small groups and will rotate around the room seeing different teachers, who will test you on your ability at what they do. Understood?” Again, no one replies to him. Leading him to end his speech with a firm: “Good.” 

Hanschen is put in a group with Ilse, Melchior and Anna. As they congregate together, Melchior passes Moritz who’s pacing over to get something out of his bag and the two go bright red the moment they lock eyes. Hanschen swears that they can’t even be within a mile radius of each other without getting flustered.

“I wish Ernst was doing the show this year, he’s too good to be backstage every year,” Ilse sighs as they huddle awkwardly, waiting for further instruction. 

“I know right! I wish people didn’t make him feel so self-conscious about his voice, he’s really talented,” Anna agrees. 

“Who’s Ernst?” Hanschen interjects. 

“You know Ernst!” Ilse insists, pointing out Moritz’s best friend who’s sat in a circle with Frau Gabor and the backstage kids. 

“Of course,” Hanschen throws back, even though he genuinely didn’t know his name until that moment since they’d never spoken before and had no classes together. “It just- slipped my mind for a second.”

“Right,” Ilse rolls her eyes, “Anyway Anna, he’ll probably help out with choreography again this year,”

“He dances?” Hanschen interrupts again, surprised.

“Just because he’s hard of hearing doesn’t mean he can’t dance!” Anna scolds him.

“I literally have a deaf sister who dances,” Hanschen sneers. Before he and Anna can go on, they’re called to do a quick bit of choreography with Fraulein Knuppeldick.

Hanschen is pretty good at dancing having picked up some skills from years of lessons with Thea and Melitta, showing skill that clearly surprises Melchior. Next, they go to Fraulein Grossenbustenhalter and sing a little bit of a song from the musical each, and none of them are that bad. Actually, Hanschen is very shocked by Melchior’s voice. He has such a generic ‘fuckboy look’ that Hanschen doesn’t expect the smooth, clear voice that came out of him. 

Rehearsals go on like that, and after Knochenbruch congratulates and dismisses them all, Hanschen spots Moritz run up to Melchior and sign, _**“If you don’t mind Melchior, could I have a private word with you please?”**_

 _ **“Of course, Moritz,”**_ Melchior signs back, visually nervous. After they’re out of sight, Hanschen bolts from the spot where he had been staring to see if he could find them. This is something that he needs to see. 

Rushing out of the theatre, he is startled to turn the corner and almost run into an equally disconcerted Ernst who apparently had the same idea as him. 

Regaining his composure, Hanschen smirks and signs, _**“I won’t tell if you don’t?”**_

 _ **“You sign?”**_ Ernst replies, blinking up at him

 _ **“Thea is my little sister,”**_ He explains, and Ernst beams before turning to peer around the corner. Hanschen follows his lead and drops his jaw as they lay eyes on Melchior and Moritz desperately kissing right there in the middle of the hallway.

Hanschen nearly laughs out loud at how two people who acted so shy around each other could kiss like that. They stare in shock at the couple for a good few seconds until they break apart, and Hanschen grabs Ernst’s arm and tugs him towards the school’s entrance before they could get caught. 

_**“I knew that they were secretly dating,”**_ Ernst signs wildly, biting his lip to stop himself from hysterically laughing, unlike Hanschen who was hysterically laughing now that he was out of earshot.

Leaving the school, Hanschen was grinning widely at the massive leverage he now has over Melchior. Definitely not about meeting the adorable boy who was best friends with his Melchior's boyfriend. Definitely not.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I though I'd be getting chapters out faster than this BUT this one is a bit longer than I expected it to be so I hope you enjoy!

True to his word, Knochenbruch actually does manage to get them all out of lesson the next day to watch the proshot of the original Broadway cast. Albeit only for 5th and 6th period, and with the impending responsibility of Hanschen having to catch up on all of his work for English the next day. He cringes as he catches himself mouthing along to most of the songs and has to keep subtly glancing around to make sure no one is looking at him. 

When Davey starts singing Seize the Day, Hanschen hears Ernst (who is sitting in the row in front of him) humming along to it under his breath, and he finds himself smiling endearingly at the boy’s soft tone. Melchior and Moritz are sitting together and, of course, are both blushing like crazy. Their hands are slightly resting against each other in quiet affection, and if Hanschen was a nicer person he wouldn’t tease Melchior about having a cute relationship. 

However, he has to keep up his reputation of being an absolute bastard and will not hesitate to tease Melchior endlessly about the handholding. At least he was still kind enough to not embarrass Melchior by letting him know that he’d seen him furiously make out with Moritz in the corridor. 

Speaking of relationships, Hanschen notices that Bobby has spent this whole time with his feet kicked up on the chair in front of him with his phone in hand. Honestly, he isn’t completely surprised by that, but he finds himself scowling because Bobby is the worst type of theatre kid. Loud and arrogant and conceited as fuck, but he’s lazy and only takes part in shows to get out of classes and for the attention. Bobby used to say that Hanschen was indolent because of his unwillingness to ever draw any attention to himself by committing to any clubs, but at least he didn’t join clubs to exploit their benefits like Bobby. Huffing and turning back to watch the show, he finds his gaze drifting over to Ernst and becoming instantly calmed. He forces himself to tear his eyes away to look at the screen though, as his mind has been focusing on the charming deaf boy far too much since auditions. 

“Damn, how are you actually paying attention to this?” Bobby whispers to Thea, who obviously doesn’t reply, and Hanschen almost groans out loud because of course Bobby was actually trying to talk verbally to his deaf sister. 

After the actors on screen take their last bow Knochenbruch walks to the front of the room and addresses them all. “Now,” he starts, “You’ve all seen what the show is like so I expect you all to be fantastic at call backs. I want your performances to be even better than you were in auditions. It was a very easy decision to decide who would be progressing to callbacks, so the sheet is already outside and you can go and see what character you have a callback for after I dismiss you. Callbacks are next Tuesday, and I expect to see you all here in the theatre straight after school.” 

Once they are dismissed, Hanschen speed-walks as nonchalantly as possibly to see who he’s been asked to audition for at the callback. Scanning down the list he sees that Georg got a callback for Crutchie and Otto for Spot Colon. He sees that Melitta, Ilse, Anna and Wendla have all been called back for Katherine, and Hanschen’s heart soars with pride as he sees his little sister’s name next to the female lead. He’s also exceedingly pleased for Wendla to be considered for a lead; he’s not exactly sure how they’ll ensure that the audience can understand her signing if she gets cast, but he’s sure Frau Gabor will find a way. It’s about time they have a deaf kid play a lead in the show. Hanschen’s eyes moves faster now, eager to find his own name, and he finds it next to Melchior and Bobby’s. 

_‘Melchior Gabor, Bobby Maler, Hanschen Rilow – Jack Kelly’_

He stares at the paper. Jack Kelly, the lead. He’s got a callback to play the lead and he has no idea how the hell he managed to pull it off – but it doesn’t really matter because he’s so damn pleased with himself. A slight concern washes over him at the thought of Bobby though. Despite the fact that half asses everything (which will piss Hanschen off constantly if he gets the role) he’s seen Bobby act and sing and he’s damn good. Melchior too. But before Hanschen can get too worried about his slim chances of getting to play the role, he notices Ernst - who had somehow silently slipped next to him – staring horrified at the sheet. 

Following his gaze, he finds what Ernst is looking at. 

_‘Robert Makin, Ernst Robel, Max von Trenk – Davey Jacobs’_

Hanschen taps his shoulder to get his attention and signs, **“Congratulations Ernst,”**

Ernst looks like he’s on the verge of tears as looks up at Hanschen and replies, **“I can’t play Davey, there must have been some sort of mistake. I didn’t even audition, not to mention the fact that I’m deaf.”**

Hanschen cocks an eyebrow, **“Are you saying that Wendla can’t play Katherine because she’s deaf too?”**

 **“No! That’s not what I mean at all!”** He signs hastily, **“Wendla is a really talented actress, but I’m not. I’ve never even been in a show before!”**

At that moment, Frau Gabor exits the theatre and Ernst whirls around to catch her by the shoulder before she can walk past. 

**“Frau Gabor, I think there’s been a mistake. They’ve put me down to callback for Davey but that can’t be right!”**

Frau Gabor looks at Ernst purposely before she responds, **“And why do you think there’s been a mistake, Ernst?”**

He falters, not wanting to make the same comment as before and unintentionally offend Wendla to their teacher. **“I didn’t audition,”** Is what he sticks with.

 **“I suggested you to Director Knochenbruch. I know you have a fantastic talent Ernst and I’m scared you’ll never share it with the world if you don’t do it now.”** She confesses. **“You can do the same as Wendla and sign the lines whilst someone else speaks for you, or you can use your own voice. I know people have been cruel to you in the past, but you have a beautiful voice Ernst, and you shouldn’t let what small minded people say to you make you hide it. I promise I won’t pressure you to do anything you don’t want to Ernst, and if you don’t want to do the part at all you won’t be forced to. But please, think about what I’ve said to you and let that help your judgement.”**

 

\----------

 

On the night of callbacks, Hanschen shuffles nervously in his chair, waiting for Knochenbruch to arrive. In his head he has the mantra of “I’m going to fuck up” playing on loop in his head. He tries his best to not show his anxiety externally, but he can feel the nervous sweat across his brow and knows that if anyone were to look over at him they’d be able to feel his anxiety. 

Knochenbruch strides into the room and starts to speak, “Thank you all for coming tonight,” He states, “I’m just going to warn you that tonight will be very repetitive and very boring. Any messing about and you’re out of the show. Is that clear?” 

A few people mumble “Yes” but it’s hardly enthusiastic. 

“I said, is that clear?” Knochunbroch repeats.

“Yes sir!” The whole room answers, clearly startled by his loud change of voice.

They call the more minor parts up first, such as Spot, Race, Crutchie and Medda. For the most part during these auditions, it’s hard to pick out a definite person for each part. Particularly for Spot, Otto and another boy called Ulbrecht are both so fit for the part that Hanschen certainly does not envy the teachers having to make that decision. Ilse, however, who has been called back for Medda as well as Katherine, absolutely demolished the competition singing “That’s Rich”, and it’s pretty clear to Hanschen that they’re going to cast her in that part.

When all of the Daveys get called up Ernst gets up from his seat next to Moritz, looking extremely nervous, and practically wobbles up onto the stage. Hanschen waits with baited breath to hear his voice, tapping his foot impatiently whilst Max and Robert run through their auditions. The whole world seems to slow down as Hanschen watches Ernst take his place on the stage. He begins to sing and Hanschen’s heart lifts. He doesn't sound like Ben Fankhauser, but Hanschen thinks he sounds so much better. The way he sings is soft and pure, and Hanschen wonders if he practices singing every day to sound that good. When he sings the final line, Hanschen involuntarily jumps to his feet and begins to applaud Ernst as enthusiastically as humanly possible, much to his embarrassment. 

Realising that he’s up next, Hanschen quickly composes himself. He and Melchior casually psyche themselves up on the spot, meanwhile, Bobby struts up onto the stage looking cool and confident. 

**“I hope he fucks up,”** Hanschen signs across the room to Melchior, who visibly lets out a snort, **“I really do.”**

Bobby sings first, and it makes Hanschen want to die. Unfortunately a miracle had not occurred to make Bobby’s voice suddenly sound like a cat being strangled, or even make him have an off day today (Hanschen would take any kind of slip up at this point.) No, Bobby hits every note in ‘Santa Fe’ perfectly. As much as Hanschen loved to hate him, he couldn’t deny the boy’s pure talent. When everyone claps afterwards, Hanschen joins in because he’s glad that torture is over with.

When Hanschen is asked to sing, he takes a deep breath and gets into character. He wants this role more than anything. Starting to sing softly, Hanschen tries to physically, vocally and mentally transform himself into Jack Kelly for all of his classmates to see. Then, his voice starts to get more powerful as he gets to the middle of the song, showing off Jack’s frustration at being trapped in New York. Personally, Hanschen channels his anger towards Bobby whilst trying to convey that emotion. 

Finishing the song, he sits back down and sighs, hoping that he’d done enough to get that goddamn part. 

The rest of the night goes smoothly. Melitta nails her song and most of the other people do really well too. When Knochenbruch dismisses them it’s 10PM. As he’s about to leave, Knochenbruch calls him and Ernst back, and he tells Thea and Melitta that they’ll have to get the bus home, before strolling over to speak with his teacher.

 **“Is there a problem sir?”** Hanschen asks, signing with consideration for Ernst.

“No problem. I was wondering if you two could act out the scene between Jack and Davey, going in to Watch What Happens Reprise?” 

The pair nod, slightly confused and start the scene after scripts are thrust towards them and they rifle through the pages to find the correct scene. 

“Newsie Square, thanks to my big mouth, filled to overflowing with failure. Kids hurt others arrested –“

“Lighten up. No one died.” Ernst replies with a shrug. 

“Is that what you’re aiming for? Go on and call me a quitter, call me a coward. No way I’m puttin’ them kids back in danger.” Hanschen states.

“We’re doing something that has never been done before. How could that not be dangerous?” Ernst urges.

“Specs brung me a note from Crutchie at the refuge,” he sighs with frustration, “I tried to see him. Climbed the fire escape. But they busted him up so bad he couldn’t even come to the window. What if he don’t make it? You willing to shoulder that for tenth of a penny a pape?”

“It’s not about pennies,” The other boy insists, “You said it yourself: my family wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in if my father had a union. This is a fight we have to win.”

“If I wanted a sermon, I’d show up for church.”

They start the song a little hesitantly, unsure of what to do – and Ernst clearly still self-conscious about his voice. However, once the initial awkwardness is over, they flow through it like it’s second nature to them. Once it’s finished, they stop, looking over at Knochenbruch and Frau Gabor, who had joined him. They nod at each other.

“Very good boys,” Director Knochenbruch says, “You may go.”

As Hanschen walks into the car park, Ernst taps his shoulder, **“Do you mind if I get a lift home?”**

 **“Can’t you walk home?”** Hanschen replies, speaking as well so that Ernst can hopefully hear that he’s asking out of curiosity, not malice.

**“Frau Gabor says I shouldn’t walk home on my own because apparently I look vulnerable.”**

**“She is very overprotective of her students, but I agree with her on that point.”** He teases, opening the car door. **“Where do you live?”**

 **“The estate near the big park – the one with the zipline?”** Ernst replies.

 **“I know it,”** Hanschen confirms.

Just as he’s about to set off Ernst speaks up, “You can use your voice if you want, by the way, since you can’t sign and drive. I’ll be able to hear you fine since we’re so close.” He pauses for a moment, “I’ll speak too so you don’t have to keep looking over at me, I figured if you were going to make fun of my voice you’d have done it already.”

Hanschen looks at him, “You have a beautiful voice, Ernst. I want you to know that.” 

Ernst looks down and blushes, “Thank you, no one’s ever said that before.” He replies, “You’re voice is very nice too. For singing I mean – well, not that I’m saying it’s not nice normally…” he trails off awkwardly, and Hanschen chuckles good naturedly. 

“Hey speaking of singing,” He changes the subject, much to Ernst’s relief, “You’re amazing. How did you get that good? Do you have to practice like, every night?”

“Yeah I practice a lot,” Ernst admits bashfully, “Only ever when I’m on my own though. I like singing but it really scares me when I have to do it in front of people. Tonight was kind of a big deal for me.”

“Well like I said, you were incredible.” Hanschen reassures him.

They spent the rest of the ride in mostly silence, but eventually Ernst speaks up again. 

“What’s the deal with you and Bobby Maler? I can tell you kind of don’t like him,”

“We’re exes.” Hanschen states bluntly, “And he cheated on me.”

“Wow… I’m sorry Hanschen that sucks,” Ernst soothes, “He must have been pretty crazy to cheat on you though.”

Hanschen couldn’t even think of a snarky or sarcastic reply. Even more surprising for him, he didn’t want to make that sort of remark, not to Ernst who was so sweet and doing his best to console him even though they’d only known each other for a few days and he really didn’t have to. A soft, “Thanks,” is all he manages. 

They carry on driving until Ernst stops him just down the road from his house. “Just here is fine,” he says. 

“I can drive you up to your front door if you need,” Hanschen offers, but Ernst just shakes his head no. As they look at each other, Hanschen suddenly feels very hot and has the very intrusive thought that if this were a romance film, this would definitely be the part where they would kiss. 

They don’t, of course.

“Thanks for the ride,” Ernst mumbles.

“Any time,” He replies, quieter than intended. Ernst gets out of the car and waves at him as he disappears down the road. Sighing as starts the drives home, Hanschen finds himself muttering, “I definitely do not have a crush on Ernst Robel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for all of your supportive comments on this so far, I really appreciate everyone who reads my stuff :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cant write angst so uhhhh take this

At 6:30 Hanschen is awoken by Thea barging into his room and demanding that he give her and Melitta a lift to school early. Reluctantly he complies and decides to get ready for school now since he can’t get back to sleep even for ten minutes after that. By 7:30, Hanschen has showered, dressed, packed his bag and eaten his breakfast. Opening the door to the living room to alert his sisters that he’s ready to go, he walks in on the two lounging around in their pyjamas still eating bowls of cereal whilst watching TV. 

**"Thea, you woke me up at 6:30 and you and Melitta still aren’t ready?"**

The two laugh and Thea signs, **"You'll forgive me!"**

**"And why would I do that?"** Hanschen rolls his eyes.

**"Because, Knochenbruch emailed me the cast last night."**

Hanschen pauses. They have the cast list. **"So, you'll tell me which part I got?"** He grins.

**"Sure! When it's put up in school, that is"** She chuckles again and Hanschen scowls. 

**"Don’t worry Hansi, she won’t tell me what part I got either,”** Melitta sympathises, but Hanschen highly doubts that. His twin sisters tell each other everything. 

Hanschen pesters Thea all the way on the drive to school. 

**"There’s no way I’m going to tell you Hanschen,”** She states, around the fifteenth time Hanschen asks. Apparently, she wasn’t going to give in to anything Hanschen would say or do.

**"I'll buy you ice cream after school!"** He pleads. 

**"Your bribery won’t work on me Hanschen Rilow,”** She folds her arms and sticks her tongue out teasingly. 

Damn, he really thought that one would get her, Thea loves food more than life. As the Rilow siblings pull into school, Thea barrels out of the car and rushes off to go and put the cast list up. She doesn't even thank Hanschen for the ride or apologise for practically torturing him the whole drive there. As soon as she’s taken off, Hanschen and Melitta share a brief glance, before grabbing each other’s hands and dashing after her. As they approach the notice board outside the drama theatre they notice that most of the drama kids got here early for this. Scanning down the list he nearly chokes as he sees Melitta is cast as Katherine. He looks over at his sister and his heat soars as he sees the ecstatic grin on her face. At further glance, he notices that Wendla and Anna have also been cast as Katherine, and it dawns on Hanschen that they must be splitting some of the parts. He looks further down the list to see that he has been cast as... Oh my God, he’s been cast as Jack Kelly! 

"Holy shit..." he whispers at the same time someone else does. Whipping around he sees that Ernst has once again managed to slide up next to him without him noticing. He turns back to the board to see what part Ernst got and he’s secretly thrilled to see that he got that part of Davey. Hanschen subtly grins, realising that this means that he’ll get to spend a lot of time around the other boy, but of course he’ll never admit that to anyone. Hell, he’s having a hard time admitting it to himself. The cast list of main parts reads like this:

_Jack Kelly – Melchior Gabor/Hanschen Rilow_

_Joseph Pulitzer – Bobby Maler_

_Katherine Plumber – Melitta Rilow/ Wendla Bergmann & Anna Green_

_Medda Larkin – Ilse Neumann_

_Davey Jacobs – Ernst Robel_

_Crutchie – Georg Zirschnitz_

_Les Jacobs – Max von Trenk_

_Spot Colon – Otto Lammameier_

"I knew you'd get the part - I just knew it!" Melitta jumped up and down excitedly. 

"Yeah because Thea told you as soon as she got the cast list last night." Hanschen drawls. 

"I mean I knew before then silly!" 

“So she did tell you after all!”

He can't keep the frown on his face though, he’s in far too good a mood. 

After school that day, most of the cast agree to meet at Pizza Hut for a celebratory meal for all of their parts in the show. It's a short walk from the school, so they head there straight after the final bell of the day rings. Pretty much everyone is there, bar Max who said he had physiotherapy that evening.

**"Frau Gabor told me that the drama department have been saving up money for costumes this year, so the costumes should be twice as good!"** Wendla signs excitedly. 

Ilse smiles at her and replies, **"Wow Wendla, that's really interesting!"** They all know Ilse probably does not find it that interesting at all. She's just crushing on Wendla big time and will do anything to talk to her. **“I hope that I don’t have to wear that pink frilly dress though, it’s really not my style.”**

**“Don’t be silly, you’d look great in anything!”** Wendla reassures her, and Ilse almost faints right there and then because Wendla is just so damn sweet.

**"You'd have to wear something close to it anyway,"** Otto remarks, **“I’m just happy their letting me do the part on my own even though I’m deaf – Ernst too. No offence Wendla,”**

**“None taken!”** She smiles cheerily, **“I don’t feel comfortable using my voice but I’m glad they’re not assuming all defies are the same and are letting you guys do what you feel comfortable with,”**

**"How are you feeling about having to kiss Hanschen, Wendla?"** Martha teases. Wendla smiles politely, but Hanschen just buries his face in his hands so that no one could see him blush. Wendla was probably the most attractive girl at their school and he had completely forgotten about having to kiss her. Plus, he didn’t want to think about that with Ernst in the room – wait. Why was he so bothered about Ernst being in the room?

About fifteen minutes later, Melchior leaves because he has to go to his little sister’s trumpet recital. She’s only been playing for about two months and doesn’t even have a solo, but she’s still making Melchior go and see all 5 shows. Why on earth there were that many people that wanted to go and see a primary school trumpet recital Hanschen did not know.

They sit in the Pizza Hut for about an hour more, just hanging out and talking about the show. When they’re all leaving, Ernst runs up to him and asks **"Hanschen? I feel really bad for asking but can I get a lift home again please?"**

He smiles and motions for him to follow him back to the school, where his car is still parked. 

When Melitta sees Ernst with him, she speaks up. **“Thea and I will get the bus home tonight. She thinks it’ll be quicker than walking all the way back to school,”**

**“It’s a fifteen-minute walk!”** He teases, but then he sees the conspiratorial glare in their eyes and decided to let it drop. 

When they get into the car, Hanschen strikes up conversation almost immediately. Because Ernst is his friend. His friend who he likes talking to and hearing the sound of his voice for no other reason other than that. 

"I don’t think I congratulated you properly on your part so, congratulations. You really deserve it Ernst,”

"Thank you," He blushes, “You too, I mean you’re amazing. It’s a shame you have to share the role with Melchior though.”

“What can I say, as much as we bicker he’s a talented guy. I’m just glad I don’t have to share the role with Bobby. Very fitting of him to be playing the villain,” he muses, and he revels in the little giggle that draws from Ernst. “Have you told your parents yet? I’m pretty sure Mellitta rang up our mother to tell her our parts the second she saw the cast list,”

“No, I don’t think my mum would be too thrilled though. She’s very overprotective, I don’t know how she’ll feel about me actually putting myself out there,”

“What about you dad, would he not support you?” 

Ernst’s brows furrow together and he begins to stammer out an explanation. Hanschen immediately cringes at himself for bringing up a clear sore spot with the boy.

"Shit, Ernst I’m really sorry for asking. It’s really none of my business I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” He apologises, thinking of Ilse and her father. 

"It's fine – it’s fine.” He shakes his head, “I’m sorry for getting worked up. I'll probably tell you about it sometime, but you don’t have to apologise, really,"

They drive for a long time before Ernst speaks up again, "So… you’re gonna have to kiss Wendla huh. How do you feel about that?"

He’s surprised at how out of the blue the question is.

"I don’t know,” He answers truthfully, “Wendla’s hot but I think Ilse would probably lance me if I ever tried to make a move on her.” Ernst smiles again, and Hanschen is glad to be able to at least mildly cheer him up after what he had said earlier. “What about you? Have you got your eyes on any girls in the show?”

"Me?" he asks incredulously. "W-well I don't really know. I've always been a bit confused, I never had a crush on any girls and I had a very religious upbringing so I didn’t even know that there were any other types of love for a long time. But- uh- recently I met someone- a boy- and I'm pretty sure I like him in a romantic sense, I mean I always think about him - Uh never mind, you probably don't want hear this."

Hanschen doesn’t know why his heart sinks at that. At the confirmation that Ernst doesn’t like him. Of course, sweet Ernst Robel wouldn’t like him, he’s snide and cutting and everything that Ernst isn’t. He wonders who it could be. Otto, perhaps? Or Georg, Hanschen had seen them hanging out together at the lunch hall. Maybe it was Hanschen’s other ex-boyfriend, Max. He’d met Ernst recently and was just as soft and kind as Ernst was – They’d make a perfect couple. 

They arrive at Eren's house soon after that conversation, and Hanschen sees that the boy’s mum is waiting outside for him. 

"You should go tell her you got a main part in the show," Hanschen encourages. Ernst nods and gets out the car. Hanschen does the polite thing and waits to make sure Ernst gets in safely, and as he walks up to his mother on the driveway, she calls: "Thank you so much for driving him!"

Hanschen smiles and waves at her, and once the Robels are out of sight, he drives away, furiously wiping a tear that had leaked out of his eye. Hanschen Rilow doesn’t cry. Especially not because a cute boy that Hanschen didn’t even like wasn’t interested in him. Max and Ernst would make a great couple – and Hanschen would be happy for them if they got together. At least, that’s what he told himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk how I feel about this so please let me know your thoughts! And you can find me on tumblr @kuraagins :)


End file.
